Here is how Chhoti and I have managed jealousy and possessiveness
My Chhoti is a jealous dog, she has taught me everything I need to know about jealousy in animals. She came to me after she had an accident and could no longer survive on the road. My saintly dog, Dopey, immediately adopted her. For a brief while, we were one happy family.
But as she got bigger and stronger, she started to display possessive behaviour e.g. she would snarl at Dopey if he came close to her bed. It made me very mad, considering, he adopted her! This is also the reason that I was drawn to Bach Flower Remedies, as this is the first behaviour problem we used it for.
But after Dopey passed away, I noticed this behaviour become extremely prominent. After all, it was only the two of us at home. She wanted to be the center of my attention. So, the minute children or puppies showed up at home, she would do everything in her power to get rid of them. She would growl and scare them away. She is willing to fight them if it comes to that. And she will ignore them if I promise not to give them any attention.
She was friends with Dopey and then with Snowy who lived with us for a few months. Other than that, she never made friends with dogs, pups or children.
Chhoti is very clear. You must give me respect and love before anyone else. While this was
very flattering, I realized that I was helping her manifest this behaviour. I had to stop this as it was making it difficult to have people over.
As I started communicating with Chhoti, I realized, the hierarchy is sacrosanct with animals. She explained, “There is a hierarchy in all groups of animals.” She reminded me of communications where we spoke to packs of dogs or a mix of dogs and cats or even cats and birds. She took my attention to the fact that how they appeared and spoke, always had a clear hierarchy.
I have done several communications with cats and dogs that grow up together. Often the human comments that their cat is the boss of the house. Even a bird that bossed the cats living in the same house. She was quite a bully.
The truth is, when it became just the two of us, I missed Dopey so much that I played a large role in accepting and even feeling secretly happy about how possessive Chhoti was about me. I was amazed at how I had fed into her need to be the only animal or child in my life. Though, she doesn’t perceive other humans – adults and teenagers as a threat.
With Chhoti and many others like her Bach Flower Remedies have helped ease the tension and make them more accepting of other members of the pack. We look at the traits that they are displaying such as possessiveness and jealousy. In addition, we help them learn to accept other members to the group and enabling them to adapt and change with the remedies. Of course, constant conversations, and setting of ground rules and negotiating are all a part of the package.
Having lived with this for 14 years, here are my recommendations. Bringing home, a new dog or cat or even a baby can be challenging for existing pack members. Breaking this hierarchy can lead to a lot of heart burn for animals as well as pet parents. It’s always advisable to pre-process it with the animal through a communicator and through gradual changes to their routine. I hear all kinds of things from animals. Many times, animals say they don't need a companion but if the human wants another animal, they should get one. Some go to the extent of saying an absolute no.
Not all dogs/cats like competition and not all want another animal in the house. Like Chhoti for many animals’ find human children, puppies or other dogs is an acquired taste. Finding the middle ground and helping them make the change is very important. In most cases communication is sufficient. In some, where the animal doesn’t show changes or is showing some signs of aggression, we should add the remedies.